Do you wish you can change the way you look?
Do you think of yourself or how you look negatively?
Are you doubting if your physical appearance matches your role as a leader?
Do you see yourself as a competent leader?
Let’s get one thing straight: only a few people stay the same size and shape all throughout their life. Your size in your 20’s will change once you hit your 60’s — or even in your 40’s!
During the pandemic, I gained some weight. It was a bittersweet hello to my late 40’s. The limited options for physical activities and the easy access to food in the kitchen combined with the back-to-back online meetings caused my weight gain. So, imagine the struggle when I had to choose clothes to wear for my online speaking and training events. Despite having a closet full of fabulous clothes, NOTHING FITS!
Despite this dilemma, I refused to overhaul my wardrobe because I already had a closet full of clothes, most of the necessities for my job as an image consultant. I already learned the techniques to power dressing without breaking the bank. I already had the correct clothes; I just couldn’t fit in them. And it was incredibly frustrating.
And then it hit me: I knew this was not an issue with the clothes. It was a heart issue of my self-image. How about you? How do you see your self-image? Do you see is positively or negatively?
Confessions of a Professional Image Consultant
I felt like I was living a double life. As an image consultant, my job is to help boost other people’s confidence by teaching them how to dress well. This involves shopping and investing in SMART pieces and loving how you look in each attire you wear. Now, I was torturing myself whenever I get dressed — huffing, puffing, and ranting whenever I felt displeased with how I looked or fit in my clothes.
I stood where my clients were at with their self-confidence levels. I was struggling with accepting the changes in my body. It turns out there are times that I — an advocate for self-confidence — struggled with self-image, too.
When I meet with participants online or in person, I immediately see the beauty of who they are. I enjoy helping them dress in clothes that flatter them because I love seeing them enhance their unique beauties, which in turn boost their self-confidence.
Since I am a motivational speaker, I knew had to re-teach myself that lesson. Self-acceptance is very important, especially to image consultants like myself. I had to follow my own advice: to speak kindly to yourself and about yourself. When I started doing so, I became more accepting of my body image. At the same time, I started becoming more mindful with the food I eat, as well as how I took care of myself physically and spiritually. All of these were necessary to help me build a positive image of myself.
Why Is A Positive Self-Image Important?
Self-image matters because how we view ourselves impacts how we feel about ourselves. In turn, it affects how we interact with others. With a positive self-image, we can boost our physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and social well-being.
When you nurture a positive image of yourself, you also benefit from the following:
- Achieve the Vision
When you have a positive image of yourself, you are confident that you can achieve your goals or vision. You are confident enough in your vision that you are persistent in pursuing them or sharing them with others.
- Improve Relational Experience and Increased Productivity
A positive self-image means you are confident enough to relate or socialize with others. You can effectively persuade people, which improves your personal and professional relationships. Business-wise, better self-confidence opens doors to increased sales, interaction with influential groups of people, and improved self-esteem.
- Inspire an Influential Legacy
When you are confident in who you are, you can easily inspire others. Naturally confident people can effortlessly encourage others to take their lead or to follow suit, which is a must for aspiring leaders.
Why Do People Neglect Their Self-Image?
Sadly, people have a distorted view of who they are. The negative way they view themselves stems from multiple reasons. A common culprit is childhood trauma. Perhaps, when you were a child, members of your family did not treat you well or thought you were a failure. Maybe you had classmates who called you names or teachers who said you would never amount to anything.
Other people just don’t have the energy to care for who they are. They prefer to go with the flow by letting themselves go.
Either way, these are harmful mindsets that we must break free from. We aren’t just any “useless” beings; we are handcrafted by God for special missions in this life. If we do not value who we are, we are wasting countless opportunities for growth.
How To Develop a Positive Self-Image
Our society promotes the mindset “You can always do better.” We constantly receive messages that we shouldn’t settle, that we can always buy or do something to make our lives better. In some ways, there is truth to that. However, we must value self-acceptance to be self-accepting. We must practice compassion for who we are — both our strengths and flaws.
To develop a healthy self-image, there are three factors you need to understand:
- Awareness of who you are, your strengths, your weaknesses, your values, and beliefs, etc. You need to be aware of where you are right now in your leadership journey and where you want to be.
- Admission of what you’re doing right and what you’re doing wrong. It takes courage to face the truth, but the benefits of doing so are immense.
- Action. After going through the first two steps, you need to act. Start doing the things that are aligned to who you are and stop those that aren’t.
The third factor is the most important step. To act on your self-image requires practicing good habits that cultivate your self-confidence. Some habits that you can start practicing include:
- Express and experience gratitude. List down the things that you are grateful for, as well as the role that you play in those things. You’ll start seeing the effectiveness of your role in the lives of others, which can contribute to a positive self-image.
- Take social media breaks. Take breaks from social media, aka one of the culprits behind damaged self-esteem. People consciously or unconsciously compare themselves to the lives of their friends, which are posted on social media platforms. These can fuel envy and insecurity. Instead of stressing yourself out with the feeling that you’re being left behind, turn off your phone and let your mind rest.
- Have a plan for self-growth and act on it. Anything that is systematic requires patience and dedication. Create a plan to help cultivate your self-confidence, commit to it, schedule it and act on it.
- Notice your sensitivities. Some people are more sensitive than others due to difficult experiences (e.g. abandonment or childhood trauma). Start by describing yourself. If you are using mostly negative words, you need to work on that mindset. How you think about yourself may be a habit from childhood. Take some time to shake that off and consistently rewire the way you think about yourself.
- Be intentional with your spiritual growth. The truth is in Christ. However, if we do not subscribe to Him or even spend time with Him, how can we learn the truth? As a motivational speaker, this is a truth I repeat endlessly to my participants. We must be intentional with our growth in Christ. Spend time with Him and read the Bible everyday so that you fill your mind with His truth.
Other specific steps you can take to enhance your body image include:
- Exploring your body image with its limitations and strengths.
- Be comfortable with your body.
- Challenge assumptions about your appearance.
- Confront thinking distortions concerning your body.
- Rediscover the real you by developing your extraordinary confidence.
- Invest in your professional growth to sharpen your leadership skills
By constantly practicing these habits, you cultivate a personal culture of extraordinary confidence. This type of confidence does not stem from pride; it is a God-given character that you can build. When you radiate extraordinary self-confidence, you do more than help yourself feel better. You can also attract, influence, and inspire the people around you.
Start Developing Your Confidence Today
Developing a positive relationship with yourself begins with the eagerness to take the first step. Before you can develop extraordinary confidence, you must be willing to help yourself. If you are, that’s great. And if you don’t know where to start, we’re here to help.
You can help your team develop their positive self-image by inviting me as your motivational speaker in your event. If you need help improving your image, I can also help as your image consultant.
We offer courses designed to strengthen your self-image. Our courses Developing Extraordinary Confidence, Influential Leader Masterclass, and 7 Radiant Days. Our self-improvement programs are designed to encourage you to dig deeper and to learn more about yourself: strengths, limitations, dreams, fears, and distractions. Each course comes with its set of programs, workbooks, and inspirational email reminders — all designed to help you develop habits that are good for your self-image.
When you enroll in our professional growth courses, you will:
- Improve your outlook in life
- Gain a better definition of your priorities
- Be inspired to take more practical steps to appreciate yourself
- Be more empowered to write a better version of your life story
- Future-proof your leadership during unprecedented times.
Your size and shape change and so will your view of yourself. However, the latter need not always be negative. Always enjoy a positive self-image by cultivating habits that promote better confidence.
Enroll in our courses today so you can gain extraordinary confidence, level-up your influence, no matter what your shape or season is!